REVIEW: Final Fantasy XIII (2010)

Overhyping a game can be one of the worst things a fan of any game or series can do. Why you ask? Well, look at Duke Nukem Forever from 2011. The game was in development for 14 years and it was getting to the breaking point of hype levels. The game then came out and it ended up being one of the worst FPS games of the last generation. So what does all that have to do with today's game? Well, after an initial debut trailer at E3 2006 and 4 years being in development, people were so hyped for it that when it came out, the hype depression hit them almost immediately.

Final Fantasy XIII by Square-Enix. Enough Said.

Final Fantasy XIII is the story of six people: Lightning Farron who's an Ex-Soldier (SEEM FAMILIAR?), Snow Villiers who's the leader of a Rebel Group known as NORA (SEEM FAMILIAR?), Sazh Katzrohy who's just there to be comedic relief, Oreba de Vanille who's suffering from Amnesia but she doesn't know it, Hope Esthiem whose purpose is to do nothing but whine at Snow for about 10 hours and finally Oreba de Fang, a character who was originally going to be male but they changed her to be female on the grounds that they wanted some sex appeal in the game. Stay Classy, Square-Enix. Anyways, these six characters are lobbed together in a place called "The Hanging Edge" (apart from Fang who comes in later to the plot). For the next twenty or so hours of the game, the characters traverse the world of Cocoon trying to find the reasons of why they were being purged by the Sanctum (Cocoon's government). The plot however, is as boring as the game itself is. It's filled with Final Fantasy clichés and tropes, and it's just really unoriginal. Sure, there's a few standout action scenes and flashbacks, but nothing worth really mentioning. The characters are really uninteresting and annoying, except for Sazh who's funny as hell, but that's it. That's actually how to describe this game's entire plot. It's there, that's it. it's an inconsistent mess filled with bad writing and unexplained fantasy thing that you're just supposed to roll with. I hate this plot and everything about it, except for Sazh.

The gameplay of FFXIII is easily it's weakest aspect, and that's really a shame. First of all, this game is the textbook defenition of the word "linear." For about 20-22 hours of the game, you're being led down what is practically an elongated corridor with a few forks in the road, which are dead ends anyways so you have to go back to the corridor. The only part of the game that is somewhat open-world takes place in Chapter 11. E-FUCKING-LEVEN. THIS IS NOT GOOD JRPG GAME DESIGN PEOPLE. This is NOT how a Final Fantasy game should be like! It's horrendous! Surely, the battle system will redeem the whole linearity of the game, won't it?

Wrrrong!

Final Fantasy has always been known as the series that constantly re-invents itself, and XIII tried it's best to distance itself from previous games - and the player - as much as possible. The new Command Synergy System is based around a paradigm deck system. Kind of like jobs, you can assign each of the six characters a specific role to play in battle and switch them on the fly in battle. However, no matter what you do, you'll always resort to the Auto-Battle option at the top of the battle window. This picks the best options for you in battle and always decides the best route to take. It literally is that dumbed down and stupid and I fucking hate it.

One thing I will admit about this game though is just that it is graphically a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Top to bottom, it's absolutely flawless for a console RPG. It's got highly detailed environments, extremely detailed character models and just awe-inspiring, jaw-droppingly beautiful CGI Cutscenes. it is without a doubt, the best looking Final Fantasy game that has been released.

The soundtrack to FF XIII is hit or miss with me. The battle theme, Blinded by Light, is a very good battle theme, but it get's repetitive after a while. Other themes that sick out to me are the beautifully serene title theme, the Sunleth Waterscape and Saber's Edge. Everything else is just kinda meh.

Overall, this was a disappointment from top to bottom. Despite it's pretty visuals, Final Fantasy XIII just fails on pretty much every other aspect. What was once the pinnacle of Japanese RPG's has now been turned into the laughing stock of the sub-genre.

Story: 1

Gameplay: 4

Graphics: 10

Music: 6.5

Personal Enjoyment: 4.5

FINAL SCORE FOR FINAL FANTASY XIII: 5.2/10

REVIEW: School Days: The Anime (2007)

If there's one thing that I honestly can't get over about most anime, it's that while the show itself may be good, the show's conclusion would often leave me with a sour feeling. What's the point of having developed characters and these characters having feelings for one another (romantic or not) and then ending the show on something that's just not right (Angel Beats! and Sakurasou no Pet na Kanojo come to mind immediately), or at least something I don't agree with. Today's anime is literally the opposite of what i just said. It's got an absolutely crap plot, but it's ending is just amazing.

The anime adaptation of the Adult VN School Days, animated by TNK.

The basic plot to School Days is pretty much the same as the Visual Novel. Itou Makoto (not Makoto Itou as I previously had thought) is an ordinary high-school student who has a crush on Kotonoha Katsura, a shy, timid and mentally insane girl who takes the same train as Makoto to school. In Makoto's class, all the students' seats have been re-arranged. Makoto ends up sitting beside Sekai Saionji, a bubbly and cheery girl. Makoto has heard rumours recently that if you snap a picture of a girl you like, and set it as your phone wallpaper for three weeks without anyone noticing, you will end up dating her. However, Makoto accidentally shows his phone (with a picture of Kotonoha) to Sekai. What makes the anime different from the Visual Novel is that in the Visual Novel, you made choices that impacted the plot and ending. Since the anime is something you watch rather than play, the writers decided to takes bits from each route of the Visual Novel and try to tie it together in a cohesive story. What we ended up with was one of the all time worst anime plots...and one of the all time greatest endings to any anime ever. Seriously, I'm going to have to just spoil how amazing this thing is, so be warned:

Spoilers for the Shows ending lie in the next paragraph, following the picture.

To give you a bit of context to why the characters do what they do, let me give a quick summary of the lead in to Episode 12. Sekai is "pregnant" with Makoto's child (I'll explain the quote marks in a minute.). Makoto feels conflicted about his love between Sekai and Kotonoha, and decides to ditch Sekai on Christmas and go for a walk around town. Sekai obviously get's pissed and wrecks shit and throws her handmade dinner for them into the bin. Makoto bumps into a slightly disturbing Kotonoha on the streets (by slightly disturbing I mean she's been talking to herself for days now), and she manages to seduce him. They have dinner at a fancy restaurant and take the train to Makoto's house. Sekai, on her way home from Makoto's house. At the train station, she sees Makoto and Kotonoha hugging on the train. To make sure her eyes aren't playing tricks on her, she goes to Makoto's house and see's Kotonoha and Makoto having tea. Sekai begs Makoto to stop, but he just kisses Kotonoha in front of Sekai BECAUSE HE'S A MASSIVE DICK (but more on that later). Anyways, the next day after School, Sekai visits Makoto to get him to explain what's going on.

Here's where things get....Interesting.

Makoto leaves the room to get his phone. He quickly checks to see if he got any texts recently. He did. From Sekai. And it confuses the hell out of Makoto.

"Sorry

 >

 >

 >

 >

 >

 >

 >

 >

 >

 >

GOODBYE"

Sekai then runs into the room and - get this - STABS MAKOTO TO DEATH. After she's done, she leaves and goes back home. Kotonoha meanwhile, comes to Makoto's house to see how her boyfriend is doing. She sees the mess that Sekai left behind her, and actually knows it was Sekai who murdered Makoto. Kotonoha texts Sekai to meet up on the roof of the high school (from Makoto's phone). They meet on the roof. Kotonoha has a bag with her, and she asks Sekai to look inside the bag.

Makoto's head is in the bag.

Sekai is then stabbed to death by Kotonoha, who brings Makoto's head out onto a nice boat (I HAD TO MAKE THAT JOKE SOMEWHERE) and holds it to her chest, saying that she can now be with him forever. It also turns out that Sekai wasn't pregnant and it was all just a lie to make Makoto stay with her. Now, while the context isn't great, what actually happens is pretty damn shocking the first time through, mainly because of the voice acting and well, it just comes out of nowhere. It's probably the best thing about the anime to be honest.

Oh the irony here is stunning.

Let's be honest here guys: The characters in School Days were at best, okay in the original visual novel, but they were never anything special. In the anime, they are the most unbelieveably stupid people alive...

Itou Makoto

...And none come more stupid and come off as much of a dickhead as our main character ladies and gentlemen. What the FUCK was this guy thinking when he thought he could have a relationship with nearly SIX DIFFERENT WOMEN? Sure, in some of the endings of the original he did get with - at most - three girls and he lived a happy life, but the way the writers dealt with the source material here is just absolutely bonkers. He likes Kotonoha, then he likes Sekai, then he likes his middle school crush (can't remember her name. Well Done Dillon) Then he likes Sekai again, then he likes Kotonoha and THEN HE DIES. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS GOING ON IN THIS GUY'S MIND. 

I'm not even going to bother picking a favourite character. how could you when they're all a bunch of idiots filling in a generic anime role? Except maybe Kotonoha who goes bonkers at then end, but that's her only decent moment. Everything else is just horrible when it comes to this animes characters.

I've never seen any of TNK's other shows, so I wouldn't be able to really compare School Days to any other anime out there in regards to it's animation quality. I'll just take it for what it is then. Although the lighting isn't as good as the original Visual Novel's (which by the way, was also an animated VN), I think that it's more fluid than the VN and has more structure to it and it looks less awkward. So it's an improvement in some places, even if it loses it's pretty good lighting effects. The expressions are good too, making me laugh and be freaked out when the time is right.

In the audio department, I actually really enjoyed the soundtrack and thought it was an improvement over the originals soundtrack. However, it's not perfect. First of all, how could you make a School Days anime and NOT include the original games main theme, "Still I Love You" or it's piano remix? It's one of the only good songs in the VN and it's a shame it didn't return for the anime. The only song that returns from the Visual Novel is the ending theme, which is a really good theme song too. The opening is lackluster, but it's serviceable and there's a lot of ending themes. so diversity is high in the soundtrack.

Overall....this show is quite the show. For all the wrong reasons. Characters are fucked up and the story doesn't really go anywhere until then end. Now, it's not as bad as let's say, Sword Art Online (haters gonna hate) but it's still a bad anime and I'd only recommend it if you're curious about the ending or if you're a fan of the Visual Novel.

Story: 7
Characters: 0.5
Animation: 6
Sound: 9.5
Personal enjoyment: 5

FINAL SCORE FOR SCHOOL DAYS: 5.6/10

REVIEW - Umineko no Naku Koro ni (2009)

To be honest, when you hear the term "spiritual sequel", you only get half excited. You're happy at the fact that a particular game or anime you like is getting some form of continuation by some (or all) of the same staff, but at the same time, you're upset by the fact that it probably won't contain the same characters, locations and plot as the original source material. In other words, it has the same essence as the original item, but feels completely different to the person watching or playing.

Meet Umineko no Naku Koro ni by Studio Deen, a spiritual sequel to Higurashi no Naku Koro ni.

Umineko no Naku Koro ni takes place in October of 1986, on the remote island of Rokkenjima, off the coast of Japan. The island is inhabited by the head of the Ushiyomiya family, Kinzo, who has been told he has three months left to live. In retaliation to this statement, he calls a meeting of his family to see who would be able to succeed him as the head of the family and inherit his wealth. However, things are not all as they see,. The family arrive on Rokkenjima as planned, and do what you'd expect people to do at a family reunion, y'know, talk, play games and just trying to enjoy themselves. That is until our Main Character, Battler, notices a huge painting in the manor's foyer. The painting depicts a former mistress of Kinzo's, the Golden Witch Beatrice (or as the Japanese Voice Actors funnily pronounce, Beahtorichae). In front of the painting is an epitaph, containing a riddle, the answer of which leads to the Gold that Beatrice lent to Kinzo after his family became poor during the Great Tokyo Earthquake.

"The one who obtains the key must then travel to the Golden Land in accordance with these rules
On the first twilight, offer the six chosen by the key as sacrifices.
On the second twilight, those who remain shall tear apart the two who are close.
On the third twilight, those who remain shall praise my noble name.
On the fourth twilight, gouge the head and kill.
On the fifth twilight, gouge the chest and kill.
On the sixth twilight, gouge the stomach and kill.
On the seventh twilight, gouge the knee and kill.
On the eighth twilight, gouge the leg and kill.
On the ninth twilight, the witch shall revive, and none shall be left alive.
On the tenth twilight, the journey shall end, and you shall reach the capital where the gold dwells"

Battler and Co. simply disregard this as Kinzo just being loony in his old age, but come the first morning after, six people have been gruesomely murdered. These murders continue up until the end of Episode IV (following the epitaph), where, unlike Higurashi  the characters strangely have a recap session of what went on beforehand, and they all agree that they were murdered via magic and not by human hands. Battler denies this, causing the Golden Witch, Beatrice to come out and challenge Battler to a game to see if he can disprove magic and witches actually existing. Beatrice then rewinds time to the beginning of the story, however, circumnstances have changed, just like an arc reset in Higurashi. Unlike Higurashi however, Umineko actually explains things as you go along the story, trying to help you to figure out who - or what - actually committed the murders in Rokkenjima in 1986. If you liked the way the plot worked in Higurashi, you'll like the way it works in Umineko. Everything is slowly paced out for you to enjoy and then culminates in a usually unpleasant but satisfying ending for the Arc. It's a murder mystery at heart, with a bit of magic and the occult thrown into the mix.

 

The characters are something quite unique to this show, as for once, they're pretty much all blood related (minus any Witches or Demons). They all know each other, all their personality traits and hobbies etc. This makes for an interesting debate as to who I should mention, since the majority of characters actually do have a decent amount of screen time and development. This is also another case of the main character being my favourite, so finding another character was hard since they all get so much development.

Battler Ushiyomiya
Y'know I kinda find it hard to actually explain why this guy is my favourite anime male character of all time.. i dunno if it's because of what he does, how he looks or what he says, the bottom line is that Battler Ushiyomiya is one awesome son of a bitch who is really something else. While not as complex as other anime characters, Battler certainly has a charm and Persona to him that none in the medium can match. He's witty, perverted, charming, determined and most of all, he's defiant. Even if Beatrice show's him something that completely proves magic exists, Battler will just come back with an explanation of why it couldn't be magic and he actually believes he is correct. While I don't necessarily agree with all of his decisions when it comes to the game with Beatrice, I personally believe that his motivation is just amazing and that he is just a brilliant character. That and he is just the best designed thing ever I mean, look at that sexy coat.

Beatrice, the Endless Golden Witch
Talk about fuuuuucccckkkked up in the mental department. This bitch is so cruel, so cynical of every argument Battler makes and just so insane, that it makes you wonder what kind of crack Ryukushi 07 was smoking when he came up with her character when he was writing the original Visual Novel. Beatrice is a witch who does some really nasty things in order to carry out the epitaph. This ranges from simply killing someone by stabbing them in the chest with a spear made out of one of her servants, or by tearing out their stomachs and putting candy in them BECAUSE SHE WAS BORED. She makes Shion Sonozaki look like the most sane person on the planet! And yet, there's something about her backstory that makes her seem so tragic, as if she were almost a human. She's a complex character, but she's just mainly a psychopath.

Something that both the original Higurashi and Umineko have is animation that's not really that great, but it works regardless of it's situations. Let me explain. Characters look somewhat flat (given the Original Source Material, this is somewhat fitting.) and environments aren't exactly top notch either, so it's a pretty typical Studio Deen job here. However, in combination with the lighting, the anime truly comes to life and becomes funny and adorable one moment then gruesome and disturbing the next. It's not exactly perfect, but it's something decent. It's better that the original Higurashi, but just under the quality of Higurashi Kai.

On the sound front, Umineko is about the same as Death Note. It's absolutely astonishing. The soundtrack is full of absolutely amazing tracks, ranging from ambient atmospheric pieces to some really bombastic and gargantuant orchestral piece. The opening theme, which is sang in both Japanese and Italian, is one of my favourites in anime and just fits the whole show perfectly. The soundtrack is one of the show's stronger points to be fair.

Overall, Umineko is a worthy successor to the already infamous Higurashi. With gore, violence, mystery and suspense, this is an anime worthy of the "When They Cry" Title and it should be watched by everyone. Don't diss it just because it's not Higurashi and it has slightly flawed Animation.

Story: 10
Characters: 10
Animation: 8
Sound: 9.5
Personal Enjoyment: 9.5

FINAL SCORE FOR UMINEKO NO NAKU KORO NI:  9/4/10

My Top 10 Favourite Anime

Y'know, when i first got into anime in or around June of last year, I didn't really know what to expect other than "Japanese Cartoons". After watching about 3-4 different series', I realized the error in my thoughts and began to appreciate the art from as something other than just Tentacle Porn and other lewd thoughts I had about the medium. It's something much grander than what we believe it to be, and something everyone's gotta watch once,. So, I decided to make a list comprised of my top 10 favourite anime, spoiler-free (the only story i talk about is the bare bones plot -EXCEPT FOR ONE WHICH I SHALL TAG). There are some rules for this list.

• NO Long Running Shonen e.g One Piece, Pokémon, DBZ, Naruto, etc.
• Only Anime I've seen are included.
• No show here is over 52 episodes long.
• Only one season per franchise (for example, I can't put both Shakugan no Shana and SNS II in two different spots.)

So, without further ado, let us begin!

Number 10: Angel Beats!

"We're the Afterlife Battle Front. Our name changes every now and then." - Yurippe Nakamura

The story of a High School of the mostly Dead, Angel Beats! by Studio Key and P.A Works is something that's enjoyable on your first time through....until it ends all too quickly. There are redeeming qualities to this show, if there weren't well It wouldn't be on this list. For one, the animation is drop dead gorgeous, and the music - especially the vocal tracks - is pretty damn good, especially for an anime soundtrack. The main characters do get a lot of development, at the expense  of the minor, sometimes more interesting characters. An interesting but flawed anime. Go check it out if you can, you may like it, or not. It all depends on what you think of the ending.

Number 9: Another

"Did you hear the story about Class 3-3?" - Unknown

Good horror is hard to come by in anime, especially horror that's just scary rather than psychologically frightening. The story about a cursed class in a Japanese Middle School and a girl who's more than meets the "eye" (HEHEHEHE), Another by P.A Works (originally a Japanese Novel) has a good premise, and at times great execution, but a real let down is it's characters and how uninteresting a majority of them can be at times. Sure, the main two are fairly interesting enough but then you got the supporting cast who are really just....there. It's got a superb atmosphere, thanks to a brilliant soundtrack and animation. Another is one of those anime you should watch late at night with the lights off to enhance the experience. It's terrifiingly good (just like my puns)

Number 8: Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

"If you scream, I will rape you" - Yoshida Haru

Slice of Life anime are some of the most generic things you can find out there, most of the time with a generic romance story tucked behind it with bland characters with typical tropes in behind them. But not this one. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun (aka My Little Monster) is a show about a die-hard study fanatic and the absolute complete opposite. What makes this show interesting isn't it's plot or the romance, it's just the shit the characters do I find entertaining. Heck, even the minor characters like Sasayan or the adorably funny Natsume are too good to not mention on. The animation is kinda meh in my opinion. Sure, I like the way the characters look, but there's something about the contrast of the show that annoys me. Otherwise, it's pretty good and you should give it a go sometime.

Number 7: Yu-Gi-Oh! (1998 Japanese Original Series, AKA "Season 0")

"Who was that who saved me...it wasn't Yuugi, was it?" - Anzu

Not to be confused with the 2001 reboot with one of the only decent 4kids dubs ever, the original Yu-Gi-Oh! from 1998 is one of the most bat shit insane things you will ever see in your life. Taking place in a fictional Japanese City, Domino, Yu-Gi-Oh! is the story of Yuugi Mutou, a young boy who loves games but is always being bullied by his peers because of his height and how weak he is. His then solves the Millenium Puzzle, an Egyptian Item with magical powers. The show mainly revolves around building the characters, which is something I appreciate. There's also not a lot of Duel Monsters in this series, so it's mainly insane crap like fake Pokémon. The animation though is lackluster and the voice acting can be dreadful at times. However, it's something that is definitely worth a shot at watching, because of how down to earth it can be one moment and how insane it can be the next.

C'mon, who couldn't trust a face like this?

Number 6: Death Note

"I am Kira." - Light Yagami

Call me crazy but I enjoyed all of this anime, from Episode 1 to Episode 37. This is one of those anime you can't avoid no matter what you do, because of how famous it is in the community. MADhouse's absolutely crazy adaptation of Death Note is something that can make you laugh one minute, scare you another minute and then make you feel the feels the next A story about a boy who finds the means to eradicate all the crime in the world, It's a very diverse anime with extremely interesting characters which are true to it's manga source, and it has one of the all time best anime soundtracks (the first opening is actually my second favourite in all of anime) with superb animation to boot, although the plot can feel stagnant at times, since the main plot takes so long to actually execute. Unlike most really popular anime, Death Note lives upto the hype. Mostly.

Number 5:  Umineko no Naku Koro ni

"Let me flip the chessboard again" - Battler Ushiyomiya

A Spiritual sequel to the infamous Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, Umineko no Naku Koro ni by Studio Deen is one of those anime that people like to bash simply because it's not Higurashi. Well, while I agree that Higurashi is the better of the two, Umineko is good on it's own merits. Taking place in 1986 (mostly, since the story does shift to 1998 from time to time), Umineko focuses more on witchcraft and the occult, rather than demons and the God of a rural village cursing everyone. Sure, it's animation can be flat, but with an amazing soundtrack and what has to be my all time favourite male lead in an anime, Umineko is for anyone who likes horror, suspense and a mystery story.

Number 4: Sakurasou no Pet na Kanojo

"I Believe in Panties" - Shiina Mashiro

Y'know this would be higher if it weren't for the fact that the soundtrack sucks so much. A Story about a boy who lives in what is probably the most insane school dormitory in the civilized world, Sakurasou is a great Dramatic Comedy with brilliant characters, a great set up and what has to be some of the best animation Japan has ever produced. it's something that will make you cry and laugh your ass off all the way through, and it has to be the best source of comedy I've seen from Japan. Sure, it's not perfect, but I'm sure you'll find something enjoyable in here.

Number 3: Shingeki no Kyojin

"This world is cruel...yet...it is so beautiful.." - Mikasa Ackerman

The Shonen all other Shonen wish they could be, this is the pinnacle of action and fantasy. A show about 3 children who witness horrific events on a single day in the year 845, behind a huge wall, Shingeki no Kyojin is easily my favourite Shonen around. It's got a plot similar to AMC's great TV Series The Walking Dead, and the characters are some of the best in the Shonen genre. Compared to other Shonen like Soul Eater and Sword Art Online, Shingeki no Kyojin just has everything done better. Better animation and my all time favourite anime opening, this show is for those who aren't afraid to jump on the hype train and watch one of the all time greats.

Number 2: Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (+Kai)

"Just like you have your secrets...we have our secrets too, hehe!" - Rena Ryugu

[SPOILERS AWAIT FOR EPISODE 4: Onikakushen-hen IV]

The master of the horror genre, welcome to the most insane thing ever produced by Human Beings. While not the best adaptation of a Visual Novel out there, the main Higurashi no Naku Koro ni series (being the original and the sequel, Kai) is just a masterpiece of pacing, tension, gore and everything right with horror. Set in a rural Japanese village in June, Showa 58 (AKA 1983), the show starts as it means to go on, by completely putting you out of your comfort zone with the single most confusing yet satisfying plot in anime. All is explained at the end of Episode 4, as Keiichi Maebara discovers.

In Higurashi, most people, if not everyone will end up dead by the end of an arc.

However, they will all be alive in the next episode. This is due to the strange way the Higurashi story arcs work. And it's why it's the best horror around. it has something for everyone, and it shouldn't be taken lightly. Definitely not for the squeamish.

Number 1: Clannad (+After Story)

" I hate this town. It's too filled with memories I'd rather forget. I go to school every day, hang out with my friends, and then I go home. There's no place I'd rather not go ever again. I wonder if anything will ever change? Will that day ever come?" - Tomoya Okazaki

It does not get any better than this. It simply just does not get any more emotional, heartbreaking, wonderful, comedic or depressing as Key/Kyoto Ani's finest achievement, Clannad and it's After Story. Clannad is the story of Tomoya Okazaki, a boy who hates everything that his town has because it's full of memories he'd rather forget. His life changes one fateful day however, a day in which he met his future wife and thus his new life began. What happens to Tomoya and his friends is some of the most engaging and heartwarming things I've seen from any piece of fiction ever. With the best animation of any anime ever, and one of the best soundtracks in anything ever, let alone anime, whether you're into Drama's and Romances or not, you're not an Otaku if you've never seen Clannad.

Dango, Dango, Dango, Dango, Dango Daikazoku.